Often, we are taken by the desire to help and provide support to those around us who are dealing with trials and tribulations of life, yet we might not know where to even begin, we might even panic and makes everything worse. The term ‘suicide’ might be scary and upsetting for many people, and it is not uncommon for us to hold such view. Try to carefully ponder this statement: “How would I go about convincing someone to not take their own life?” The answer is simple, as it turns out, you just need to talk with said person and show that we care, that alone may prove to be an incredible help.

A few scientific papers that record the accounts of people who almost took their own life, accompanied by testimonies from those who helped them, shows that during the course of a suicide attempt, a friendly chat and a simple kindness has an immense effect in averting a person’s desire to end their life.

There are plenty of ways to prevent suicide attempts, but the Mental Health Foundation (MHF) provides a summary on the method that is both simple yet profound, abbreviated as WAIT.

W: WATCH.

Observe signs of stress and unusual behaviors for those close to the would-be perpetrator. For example, someone might suddenly refuse meeting or avoid making eye contact towards others, excessive silence, easily offended or exhibits sudden negative emotional outburst or unusual level of anger. Other than that, take notice when conversation topic veers into death or suicide.

A: ASK. (Ask: “Are you thinking about ending your life?”)

Perhaps you’re worried that asking that question out loud might end up pushing them towards committing suicide. In truth, it’s the other way around: asking about it reduces the chance of them ending their own life and might become the beginning of a conversation that will save their life. The chance to talk about their feeling and troubles might help someone feel acknowledged, have their existence validated, and put them into a better mind space.

I: It Will Pass.

While chatting with them, convince them that their suicidal thoughts will fade. It won’t be instantaneous, but it will recede and in time, it will vanish.

T: Talk to Others.

Push and convince them to seek help from others or health services to begin consultation and discuss their feelings.

How can we help people who are suicidal?

It is perfectly natural for us to feel nervous and afraid to start a conversation with someone who is facing deep trouble and harbors suicidal thoughts. Keep in mind that giving them the chance to talk about how they feel is a potent way to help them, as is our attention and focus on them. Be a good listener in this situation by:

1.    Focus all your attention on said person. Put down your cell phone and make eye contact, letting them know you are listening.

2.  Hindari berbicara tentang diri kita, ataupun membandingkan dengan apa yang pernah kita alami, topik dan percakapan harus berfokus pada mereka.

3.    Avoid centering the conversation on yourself, or comparing their struggles with your own experiences, the topic and conversation should focus on them.

4.   Give them time compose and gather their thoughts, no need to rush them into talking immediately. They need time to put their thoughts into words. If they are silent or crying, give them time, there’s no need to talk right away.

5.    Use that time to show that we are truly listening and that we are there for them doing our best to understand where they’re coming from. You can do this by summarizing their issues and troubles and let them confirm or deny our conclusion.

6.   Use open-ended questions, such as “How are you feeling right now?” rather than closed questions with strict yes-or-no answers. Encourage the person to explain how they feel.

7. Confirm and inform them where they can seek help if they need someone who is an expert, such as a Psychiatrist and Psychologist, to help overcome the problems and issues they are dealing with.

As it turns out, the kindness and care that we take for granted can turn despair into hope and prevent others from bringing harm upon themselves. Being a person who is full of love and sensitive to the social life around us gives us an ideal character to thrive in society. Indonesia has passed down the values of caring and kindness, these values must not be abandoned in our lives. Towards a future with a better and greater Indonesia.

 

Author             : Ns. Rendi Yoga Saputra

Editor               : Anggi E.

Translator        : Muhammad Faris Hafizhan